Jules, an about me

Hello there! I’m Jules, your quirky, energetic boudoir photographer.

I don’t want to make it all about me, because this whole experience is about you, but I do think that knowing a little about the woman behind the camera can help you figure out if I am the right redhead for the job!

I love poetry, and prose, so I’m gonna write this just as if we were having a conversation.

Because that’s how I’m the most me.

and you wanna know a secret. . . . I want you to be the most you too!

Long before I became a mother I was self conscious of my body. Not in the way that every day it consumed my mind, there were times I loved how I looked, and there were times I didn’t. It ebbed and flowed, constantly changing. I realized there were things that played into how I felt.

The amount of tears left on the fitting room floor in trying to find a pair of jeans that fit and complimented my body could make a garden grow. That lump you get in your throat as you try on that bathing suit that looks so cute on the mannequin but does not do you any favors, is all too familiar. It took years, but I now know there are certain patterns, cuts of dresses and clothing that just make me feel much better about myself than others.

I had to accept that I’m petite, I have curves that that cute shift dress will not compliment, and most bathing suit bottoms are not equipped to handle the juicy booty I was blessed with. I always thought I needed to be skinnier instead of just enjoying life and the experiences I was having.

When I became pregnant with our first child, a daughter, I didn’t know how profound an impact she would make on my own self confidence. She’s almost eleven now, and I will do just about anything to stop those tears from spilling out onto the fitting room floor. And it all starts with ME.

If she doesn’t see how I love myself she won’t know how important it is.

After my third child was born, my body felt destroyed. I was weak and tired and the idea of being sexy when I was wearing Walmart shirts with holes and leaky breast milk sent my confidence in my body far out the window. But I was happy, my children were healthy and I was in the front row for all their beautiful changes.

Over time I came to understand that what I was desiring with my body was a connection. Yes, I wanted to be sexy and be desired by my husband. And I was. His love for me in any way I was shaped made me feel something, but it wasn’t until I truly believed I was sexy and beautiful did I notice my confidence growing. I embraced my sensual side and my desire to find pleasure in all things, and this awakened me and my gratitude for who I am.

One day I asked my husband to come slip into the studio and help me with some photos. I’d been on a journey to finally lose the weight of baby number three, I felt super sensual and sexy and the pictures are some I look back on and feel quite proud of myself, not because I was fit but

because they remind me of when I took the time to love myself.

I wasn’t the last person taken care of. And then, just like that, life took over and I let myself fall to the bottom of my list. I’m not great at consistency in this department. I’m a people pleaser, a helper, someone who constantly will drop everything for anyone even if that means neglecting myself.

I started stepping in front of the camera more, even when I didn’t love what the scale said, or how my clothes looked on me. I didn’t let it stop me, because I wanted and still want to love myself, my physical body, my sensual being. Something happened in these self portraits, I saw how beautiful I really was even if with a few “imperfections”.

Every time I tell myself I’m not skinny enough, wish my stomach was more toned, or I’d probably look better if I just didn’t eat that, all it does is rip the fabric of my being apart. It creates distance between my soul and my physical being. It breaks me.

And not just because I have children watching me, and not just because I know it’s the right thing to do, but I want to be the main reason I believe in myself. Because I’m the one who has to be in these thoughts, this body and this confidence every day.

When you step in front of my lens I assume it took you just as much courage, if not more, than it did me to get there and I am going to protect that space with my whole heart.

I want to be a small part of what helps you take time to love yourself. To see more of yourself.

I didn’t warn you I’d go all romantic did I? I think there’s beauty in that, we often don’t know where something will lead, we just know we don’t want to let it pass us by.

Please reach out if you want to chat more! I’m sure there’s much to be learned from each other.

Thanks for reading!

Love,

Jules